Thursday, January 05, 2006

Safety Tip for the Young Businessman

Back in the bad old days, I worked in an office and wore a suit and tie every day.

When you're a dapper young businessman in your twenties, slowly mortgaging little pieces of your soul with each passing day, you need a few secrets to keep yourself looking your best.

Back then, it was a problem to keep your shirt tucked in properly. After a while, the shirt would start to come untucked. Not "all-the-way-hanging-out" untucked, but more "looking-puffy-at-the-waist-not-nice-and-trim" untucked.

I came up with a neat trick to keep my shirt staying in.

On a regular basis, the thing to do is to unzip the pants, reach inside the pants through the fly, and grab the tails of the shirt and pull them down. Quick, easy, and effective.

HOWEVER...

If you do this in the office men's room...

Go in the stall and do it.

BECAUSE...

If you do it in front of the big mirror...

...and the pompous branch-manager-slash-vice-president comes in...

...and you're standing there with your arm up your fly to the elbow...

It doesn't look too good.

And don't even bother trying to explain. He doesn't want to hear about it.

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