Friday, March 06, 2009

Watchmen Watched. Geeks Everywhere Breathe a Sigh of Relief.

Aaaaaaah.  And whew.

When I wrote about the "Watchmen" movie back in August of 2007, the release of the movie seemed long, long away.

No more!

Today's the release date, and I was at the IMAX theatre at midnight to welcome it.

Ok, yes, I'm a little tired.  The movie was close to three hours long.

But it was worth it.

It's funny that I mentioned the Harry Potter films in my original post, because that's what I said to my two big kids as we left the theatre at 3am:  It's just like the Harry Potter films in the sense that they couldn't put *everything* in, and had to change a bit, but nevertheless it is very faithful to the original story and has the same "feel".

Two big geek thumbs up.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

That Was Easy.

I own an "easy button".

I saw it at Staples months ago and immediately had to have it.

It gives me no end of joy at work.  Whenever I finish a phone call (I do tech support) I immediately hit the button for a little instant gratification:

"That was easy."

I'm sure it gives the people around me lots of pleasure as well.   Wink.

I always make sure that my call is disconnected before I hit the button.  I wouldn't want any of my customers to get the wrong impression.

Except for once.

A few months back, I was on the phone with a few IT guys who were pretty easy to deal with.  Always joking, laughing, and such.  It was a refreshing change.  They were pretty laid back.  

Anyway, we worked out whatever their problem was.  Then, I heard something strange.  It made me do a bit of a double take.

"What was that??", I say.

"Oh, sorry," they say.  "We were just having a little bit of fun.  We have an 'easy' button!"

"Wait!"  I say.


I lean over so that the microphone on my headset is right down at the level of my desk.

I press my button.

"That was easy."

They laugh their ASSES off.  I laugh my ass off too.

It's funny how something so simple can cause such pleasure.

That was easy.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Die Hard 12: Die Hungry

I don't know how I had never seen this before somewhere.  It's not new.

It's a "Die Hard" spoof by Ben Stiller.  From when he had a tv show years ago.  And it totally cracked me up.   The impression of Bruce Willis killed me.

Check this out:

Monday, February 02, 2009

My Personal Response to "LOL"

We live in a digital world.  

Communication is changing faster than it ever has, and our language is changing with it.

You know my biggest problem with all this?


Or "lol" even.

I live in a world and work in a career where instant messaging is constant.  I have two different instant messaging clients on my BlackBerry, and a corporate client on my work computer where I'm in constant communication with three teams of co-workers.  It's pretty effective, though a little chaotic.

The only thing that really bugs me is "LOL".  Or "lol".  Whatever.

You what my problem is?  It doesn't even mean what it was originally meant to mean... which itself was only about twenty minutes ago!!

See, it was supposed to mean "laugh out loud".  Now, people type it all the time, and I *guarantee* they aren't laughing out loud when they do it!  Now, it means "ha ha" or something even less significant!  

If I type, "Nice day today" they respond, "Yeah.  lol."   If I say, "I have a nasty rash on my thigh", they say "lol."   If I say, "What time is it?", they say, "330.  lol"

What the f*ck!?!

Even my own WIFE does it now!  I swear, the first time she did it, I think I felt like that woman who realized that Donald Sutherland was now a pod person too at the end of that Body Snatchers remake in the 70's.  NOT YOU TOO!! OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Can't we PLEASE stick to our guns for just a moment?

In response, I've created my own acronym.  It replaces the cursory "lol" that gets thrown around so fast:


See, if someone says something slightly pleasant or amusing, but not nearly funny enough to make me laugh out loud, I type "MABNLOL".

Mildly Amused But Not Laughing Out Loud.

Of course, people now have to ask me what I mean, and I have to explain.  So it does take a bit longer. 

However, I like to think that it will pay off eventually.


I wonder if I can get a trademark on that?

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Strapped for... time? Cash? no... Style!

(Heck, figured I better get one more in before the year ends...)

So this morning I hop out of bed, throw on some clothes and venture to the grocery store to grab a few things before family arrives for New Year's Eve.

I was half way there before I saw the problem.

Now, you've heard of "hat head"? When people leave a hat on for a long time, and their hair ends up shaped like the hat? I don't have that problem.

My problem is even worse.

"Strap head".

Now, see, I mentioned a while back that I have a nifty little machine that helps me sleep better, and also saves me from being kicked repeatedly. However, this does require that I have a hose attached to my schnozz, which needs be secured by... straps. A kind of neoprene thingy.

The problem is that most people have HAIR between these straps and their head. Not me. SO... if I sleep the same way too long, the old straps do a good job of painting a pretty picture on my head. Kind of like a topographical map.

Generally, when I get 'strap head', I try to stay out of sight for a while. TODAY, however, I did the quick "Oh crap!" and rubbed my head vigorously... while driving the car of course.

Only when I arrived did I remember my handy BlackBerry toque in my pocket which could be used to conceal the evidence.

Whew. Disaster averted.

Although, in hindsight, I could have rebuffed any odd looks by saying that I was rehearsing for my role in the local production of "Pulp Fiction": I'm the guy who comes out when they say, "bring out the gimp".

Happy new year!

Monday, September 08, 2008

Please Put Me into a Medically Induced Coma Until After the Election...

Yes. Canadians rejoice. We're having another federal election.

God, please take me now. So I don't have to watch all the nimrods suddenly jockeying for position and trying to curry favour.

Oh, and I can't quite figure this part out:

This man is the Prime Minister of the country.

So, statistically, by this point in my life I should have been able to meet or speak to someone who actually LIKES this man.

But I haven't.

Oh, and apparently the smart money says that he will be Prime Minister *after* the election too.


It's pretty bad when I start looking at pictures of Brian Mulroney and thinking that, by comparison, those were the "good old days".

I'm putting my head under the pillow. Somebody wake me in November, ok?

Saturday, August 30, 2008

I Think It Was Better Than I Thought It Was

August 30th. I declare the summer movie season to be over.

The summer laid out pretty much how I expected when I planned out my summer movie viewing back in April.

Dark Knight, Iron Man, Hellboy, Indiana Jones... loved them all. Sex in the City was good, so was Hulk, and Kung Fu Panda was good too. (Didn't manage to see Get Smart somehow)

However, there was one notable exception.

Prince Caspian.

I wasn't happy with it at all. I didn't enjoy it nearly as much as the first Narnia movie. Choppy, unclear, and not a good interpretation of the book either.

However, I think I have to change my tune.

It all happened a few weeks ago, when my little guy and I started playing the Prince Caspian game on our Wii.

Every few levels we progressed, we would be rewarded by a cut scene directly from the movie.

I found myself saying things like, "Huh?" "When did this happen?" "They snuck into the castle and there was a big battle?" and such. On and on it went.

It turns out that I must have slept through at least half the movie. I *do* remember being a little dozy at one point, but it seems that it went a little further than that.

And, based on the cut scenes I've been seeing in the video game, it was a pretty good movie after all.

I wonder when it comes out on DVD?

Because now I can't wait to see it.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Blinky, meet.... Chompy

Shades of "The Simpsons":

Remember Blinky, the three-eyed fish that was found in the water by the nuclear power plant?

Well.. meet Chompy:

Unfortunately, he's a real fish with two mouths. And I don't think he's a shining example of natural evolution.

More on it on the CBC website here:

Ugh. This can't be good.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Taking the Phrase "Well Travelled" to Great Lengths...

Look at this video and tell me you're not jealous of this guy. Not his dancing skills, but his... well, just watch the video and see what I mean.

You can see more at

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Here's a picture from the family archives. It's not too dusty, it was only taken about a month ago.

I call it:

"The exact moment when my little nephew decides that Dodgeball maybe isn't the sport for him"

Not exactly a shot for the Sports Hall of Fame or anything, but compelling nonetheless.


Sunday, August 10, 2008

Grooming Disasters Averted Worldwide

You know, I've had a beard for... um, a long time. And it's been cut down to a goatee since... um, around 2000 I think.

So I've had my share of grooming upsets. Occasionally I've trimmed something a little too close with the clippers, and had to run a little lopsided for a few days or weeks. In fact, back when I grew actual hair on the sides of my head, I even had a triangular chunk shaved off it (I knew there was a problem when my wife said, "Ooops!") which I had to walk around with for two weeks.

So my point is that grooming incidents can happen to even the most competent of us.

NOW, miracle technology has been developed so that even a total moron can grow a goatee.

Please consider, for your viewing pleasure, the Goatee Saver:

Isn't that charming?

I'll save you reading the manual: Hold it in your teeth and shave around it.

So now, if you know a total moron who can't normally walk and chew gum, who is nevertheless sporting a totally symmetrical goatee, you can smile and say to yourself, "Goatee Saver."

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Times Were Tough In the Old West... Last Weekend

Yes siree, times were tough back in the old West. Or at least, in the old west last weekend, when we took a new old time family picture on our trip to PEI.

I'm still not sure which I'm more concerned about: the 11-year old girl dressed in a skimpy dress with a drink in her hand, or the 7 and 11 year old boys brandishing firearms. And all of them quite pleased with themselves, to boot!

Oh well, at least I've got the badge and the biggest gun.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Technology from the Stone Age

This post is courtesy of my parents. Who NEVER throw anything out.

I present, for your viewing pleasure, before it becomes a permanent fixture in the Smithsonian...

My first computer "modem":

A rotary dial telephone emblazoned with the "Commodore" logo.

How awesome is that?

This came with my Commodore 64 computer. And yes, it did work. It would plug into the computer, and I would *literally* dial-up to a local BBS (bulletin board service) or to the ultimate online system, COMPUSERVE. Man, I could get a movie review, or a sports score, all in text format of course.

I'm pretty spoiled by this whole new-fangled "internet" thing, but I must say, that old stuff was pretty cool at the time.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Oh My.

Yesterday was fun. Took the kiddies up to their school fair. Nice day, lots of fun.


One of the 'inflatable' attractions caught my attention.

It was some kind of a long submarine or something, that the kids enter at one end, bounce around and such, and exit at the other end.

I was at the end, considering trying to get a picture of a very fast moving target as he exits the attraction. Didn't get that picture, but took a picture of the 'exit' anyway.

Take a look at this.

I'm thinking the picture speaks for itself, but I need to be sure.

It's not just me, right?



(If you have any good ideas for a name for this ride, post it in the comments. Somehow I think "The Huge Blue Schong" is a little too on-the-nose...)

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

The "EXICTMENT" Continues To Build...

I've always been a stickler for spelling, proofreading, and related activities.

Yes, I KNOW that many of you are not. Sorry.

However, even those of you who favour 'creative' spelling would probably agree:

Shouldn't you proofread marketing campaign advertisements BEFORE putting them on bus shelters, billboards and the like? ESPECIALLY if the word with the typo is designed to be one of the most prominent words in the ad?

Behold what I discovered this weekend while humping cake and presents in and out of the local sports facility for a kids' party:

I just *had* to take a picture.

And I'm sure that the Head Shoppe people were very "exicted" to see their advertising dollars at work.

Unless they didn't notice. Yet.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

SeXX in the Theatre

I watched "Sex in the City" last night. With three other guys.

No, I didn't go to the movie *with* three other guys...

I went with my wife.

There were three other guys IN the theatre, though. Let's just call it a major testosterone shortage.

Truthfully, though, I enjoyed the movie. We did watch the whole series years ago, so it was just like a long-awaited extra-long episode. If I had never watched the show, I'm sure I would have been sitting there saying, "WTF?"

So yes, I give it a thumbs up. But I think they should have named it "SeXX in the City", though.

In honour of the chromosome thing.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Important Notice to Producers of Consumer Products

Dear producers of consumer products:

Please be aware that you dramatically increase the likelihood of me purchasing your product, no matter *what* it may be, by slapping a picture of Batman on it.

That is all.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

What's Next? "Harry Potter and the Raiders of the Lost Ark"??

Hopefully I'm going to see the new Indiana Jones movie this weekend.

The kids are giving me some grief, as we still haven't seen "Prince Caspian". Little ingrates.

Maybe I should just stay home and read this book I saw for sale at the grocery store...

It's a heartwarming tale about a university professor who moonlights as a treasure hunter, who discovers that his long-dead parents were members of a magical community that he suddenly finds himself a part of. He gets caught up for in the quest for a mystical artifact that is also being pursued by an evil wizard who...

Ah, I better not spoil the plot. In case you want to read it yourself.

Sounds like it could be interesting, though...

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Just Hope It Doesn't Rain...

This guy just kills me. Look at these sidewalk chalk drawings:

Just LOOK. His ability to force perspective is mind boggling. These are just drawings on the ground!!

Now, I admit I'm repeating myself, because I did blog about this same artist back in April two years ago, but I just happened by his website again, and he's done a lot more cool pieces since then. And how many of you were actually reading my blog back then anyway?

So here's his website again:

You don't have to thank me. That's what I'm here for.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

"Iron Man" Totally Smelted Me

Question of the day:

When a woman is driving a huge honkin' pickup truck...

what is SHE trying to compensate for?

(If it's a *man*, I know... but a woman baffles me a bit)


Ok, back on topic.

"Iron Man".


I must say, for the first summer movie out of the gate, it has certainly set the bar high for all the others.

Really enjoyed it. Kids enjoyed it too... with slight clarification. The BOYS, ages 7, 11, and 16, *loved* it. The GIRL, the 11-year-old one, admitted to me that she came to the movie strictly for the treats. However, when pressed, she conceded that she at least gives it a 7 out of 10. (My dear wife opted to stay home in a quiet house. Go figure.)

So go see it.

Oh, if you're even 0.01% comic geek, wait until the end of the credits for a final scene. Yes, they're about ten minutes long. And the scene is about 45 seconds long. Just do it anyway.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

1989 All Over Again

This is too cool.

I may have mentioned before how stoked I am for the new Batman movie this summer.

I was equally as stoked, or perhaps even a little bit more, back in 1989 when the first Tim Burton Batman movie came out.

Somebody took the trailer for the new movie, and overlaid it with a somewhat edited version of the old Batman movie trailer. And it's too cool for words.

Check this out.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Another Lost Opportunity to Mess Up my Kids

So this newest "Grand Theft Auto" video game came out this week.

I've been reading how it polarizes people with it's street-level violence and such. However, I've never played any of the previous games, so I don't have a real feel for it, at least from a first-hand point of view.

One of my co-workers is an avid gamer, though, and he picked up the new game already. I asked him what it's like, and he told me this:

"It's great if you're into beating up hookers."

Ooh! Do they have a version for the Wii coming out? I'm sure my six year old would *love* this!

Or maybe we'll just stick to Mario Kart. That Bowser is nasty enough for me.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

My Favourite Swear Word

I don't like to use bad words. I think they are totally inappropriate and a sign of a...

Ah, who am I kidding. I swear like a longshoreman. I still have the ability to totally mortify my mother.

Now, I'm not completely condoning the use of swear words. For instance, I discourage my children from using them. I just find that they add a nice level of emphasis to my speech when I'm trying to express a certain point of view.

Let's talk about my favourite swear word:


It's really something, isn't it? It's the kind of word that doesn't require a lot of explanation.

Let's say, you were in a situation, maybe an event of some kind, that was terribly disorganized. You found it frustrating and disheartening to the extreme. How do you most efficiently put that impression forth to an interested third party?

Should the person ask you, "How was the so-and-so?", you simply respond:

"It was a total clusterf*ck."

Case closed. No further clarification necessary.

One thing to bear in mind, however, and this is directed to those of you who are just learning to swear, you need to be careful not to overuse swear words. Sometimes even I realize I need to pull back a bit, usually after saying something like, "Please pass the f*cking potatoes". No more so does this rule hold true than with 'clusterf*ck'.

So, hold 'clusterf*ck' like a precious gem in your verbal repertoire. Save it for that perfect moment...

And then let it rip.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

It Ain't Easy Being Green... Even with Stretch Denim

I forgot one.

When I talked about all the movies that are going to make my summer so rich and full, I forgot "The Incredible Hulk".

Check out the poster:

Not bad, eh? Now Ed Norton can change into *another* cool character! (Didn't see "Fight Club?" Then this won't make sense to you.)

However, there is one tiny problem... his pants aren't purple. We uber comic geeks hate stuff like that. Hulk's torn pants should always be purple. And none of this 'stretch denim' stuff. Sadly, that means that poor Bruce Banner would have had to wear purple pants every day of his life. Where would you even *find* purple pants? Since they're so offensive and all. Oh well, that's a question for the philosophers.

Oh, I almost forgot the COOLEST part. I suppose it could be considered a "spoiler", but I know none of you care. You know how there's also the "Iron Man" movie coming out... with Robert Downey Jr.?? Well, it turns out that Robert Downey Jr. is also playing a cameo in the Hulk movie! In character! (But not wearing the cool Iron Man suit, I don't think). How cool is that??

The geek strings in my heart just went 'zing' a little when I heard that. Gives me a good feeling for the future. Hulk smash puny Iron Man, and stuff like that.

Monday, April 21, 2008

The Miracle of Life for Only a Dollar

I will freely admit that I frequent the dollar store.

It's great for grabbing some low-cost items that are going to be used and disposed of fairly quickly. If I need birthday party favours, or craft items for a Beavers meeting, a quick trip to the dollar store will do the trick. In fact, I recently found a neat little plastic faux-BlackBerry that makes funny noises. I've been carrying it around in my pocket at work all day today!

In fact, I do notice that dollar stores now carry a LOT more items than I would have expected. Lots of household items are available in dollar store versions, and many of them will serve the same purchase as a more expensive version from some other place.

However, over the weekend, I saw something that actually made me stop and go back to look again. In fact, I even took a picture. (After I waited until nobody was watching, of course. Don't want people to think I'm a weirdo...)

Take a look at what you can get at the dollar store now:

A Home Pregnancy Test!!!

Isn't that nuts?

You know, though, now that I think about it... perhaps this will dovetail with some of my other regular uses for dollar store items. My younger daughter turns 11 next week. With the way that society is going these days, perhaps I should buy a bunch of these for the upcoming birthday party to put in her friends' treat bags!

OK, well maybe that's a little over the top. But you know, I'd sure like to be a fly on the wall in some of the houses when they brought THOSE home! (Of course, that would probably help cut down on future birthday party expenses... since they'd all be banned from my home after that!)

Maybe I'll go back and buy a bunch. I don't really have any need for them (I finally figured out what was making that 'pregnancy' thing happen) but I can't resist a deal!

If anyone needs one, please let me know. Or else I might end up using them to stir my mixed drinks! (Kind of like the "forget-me-shot" that Moe made up for Homer a few months ago)