Saturday, August 25, 2007

The Ultimate Grudge Match: 1987 vs. 2007

My wife and I reached a milestone this past Wednesday. Twenty years married. And both still alive, and relatively undamaged, at that! It makes me wonder, however, if we're better off now, or in 1987. Let's do a quick comparison of August 22nd, 1987, and August 22nd, 2007:


1987: Young.
2007: Old.

Winner: 1987.


1987: Beautiful but impractical wedding gown, and not-terribly-manly all-white tux.
2007: Casual comfortable clothes.

Winner: 2007


1987: My wife's, curled and lovely. Mine, poofy and already thinning at 21.
2007: My wife's, under a hat but as nice as always, mine, missing in action.

Winner: Um, let's call that one a draw.


1987: Church. In Sydney.
2007: Open water near Peggy's Cove.

Winner: 2007. With apologies to God.


1987: No kids. Whew.
2007: Five kids. But not with us at the time! (That scores bonus points)

Winner: 2007 (even not considering the 'missing kids' bonus points)


1987: Marrying, dancing and partying. But also lots of stress, jitters, and sweating.
2007: Kayaking. Totally stress free and amazing.

Winner: Ooh... tough one. However, as nice as 2007 was, I better give the edge to 1987 for the 'wedding' thing.

And the grand winner is... with a slight edge.... 2007!

Yay. I always knew we were better off.

Congratulations to the present. Past, you had your time, and it was pretty good, but you know your place now. Behind us.

That's all for our first double-decade challenge. Check back in 2027 for the next round!

Friday, August 17, 2007

Who's Watching the Watchmen? Well... me, hopefully...

It looks like it's actually happening.

Back in 1987 I was blown away by the 12-issue comic book series called "Watchmen." It remains a classic graphic novel, and my hardcover collection still gets pulled from my bookshelf regularly. I even have a paperback version I lend out to people.

For twenty years, people have tried to make it into a movie, and the plans would always crash somewhere into the process.

This time, it looks like they're actually going to make it.

It's going to be like Harry Potter movies, I expect, in the sense that in no WAY will they be able to put all the details in. But hopefully they'll keep the spirit.

Man, I'm so pumped.

(Man, I'm such a geek...)

Friday, August 03, 2007

Blame It on the Dream Police

Well, this explains a lot.

Like why I ALWAYS fall asleep in movie theatres. Or at our friends' house sitting on their couch after a nice meal.

I just figured it was a result of the 'five kids' lifestyle.

Turns out it was the Dream Police.

The Dream Police, they live inside of my head/ The Dream Police, they come to me in my bed/ The Dream Police, they come into my sleep, oh no...

Also, I never realized that Cheap Trick was so far ahead of their time. See, back in 1979, back when I played that song repeatedly, I didn't realize that the whole thing was a clever allegory for Sleep Apnea.

Which, it turns out, I have. Of the severe variety, in fact.

So what does this mean for me?

Well, let's just say that I'm starting a treatment that hopefully will lead to me feeling more rested, will spare my sweet wife the snoring she's endured for the last ten years, and will reduce my potential for high blood pressure and heart problems.

However, I think a side effect might be me coming out with things like:

"The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now *I* am the master."


"Luke... I am your father. Search your feelings, you know it to be true..."

I'll just have to trust the Force.

Forced air pressure, to be specific. Bwa-ha-haaa.