Blame It on the Dream Police

Well, this explains a lot.

Like why I ALWAYS fall asleep in movie theatres. Or at our friends' house sitting on their couch after a nice meal.

I just figured it was a result of the 'five kids' lifestyle.

Turns out it was the Dream Police.

The Dream Police, they live inside of my head/ The Dream Police, they come to me in my bed/ The Dream Police, they come into my sleep, oh no...

Also, I never realized that Cheap Trick was so far ahead of their time. See, back in 1979, back when I played that song repeatedly, I didn't realize that the whole thing was a clever allegory for Sleep Apnea.

Which, it turns out, I have. Of the severe variety, in fact.

So what does this mean for me?

Well, let's just say that I'm starting a treatment that hopefully will lead to me feeling more rested, will spare my sweet wife the snoring she's endured for the last ten years, and will reduce my potential for high blood pressure and heart problems.

However, I think a side effect might be me coming out with things like:

"The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now *I* am the master."

and

"Luke... I am your father. Search your feelings, you know it to be true..."

I'll just have to trust the Force.

Forced air pressure, to be specific. Bwa-ha-haaa.