Kid Stuff

Disclaimer: If you are not either a parent or a very "kid-friendly" person, you might have trouble getting through this entire post. Don't say I didn't warn you.

1. Babies love me. I can't say why exactly. Maybe they look at my bald head and think I'm one of them.

2. Taking care of my friends' kids today. One of those kids is a baby. Who, incidentally, loves me. This child has an actual belly button. No, wait, I know, but *really*, this child has an actual belly BUTTON. It's shaped like a real button. Perfectly circular, flat on top, evenly raised with defined edges and everything. After 39 years of life, and having seen many belly buttons in that time, I finally see why they called it that.

3. My four-year-old has re-ignited an ongoing debate within our family. He has taken to singing about the little spider that goes up the water spout. Here's where the debate begins. My wife sings "itsy-bitsy." However, I contend that the best version is "inky-dinky" (which, I concede, is a dark horse contender, as very few others agree with me... but it's how my dad taught it to me, so I'm sticking with it). In fact, in the interest of fairness, I must acknowlege a large faction of the population that leans towards "eensy-weensy." You know, and this just occurred to me now, if my lovely spouse doesn't start coming around to my way of thinking, I might try to push her buttons a bit by singing "achy-breaky." The achy-breaky spider... I like the sound of that.

4. When I was younger, Ernie was my clear favourite. Over the years, however, I've also developed a fondness for Bert's subtle, nuanced style of performing.

5. The most interesting thing I ever discovered in a child's diaper:

An earwig.

(Many have asked me 'was it dead?' I can only reply, 'I don't know if it was going in, but it sure was coming out!')