Sunday, December 10, 2006

Hey! You Talkin' to Me, MFR???

Yes, I'm a MFR. Although it doesn't necessarily stand for what you think it means.

Particularly if you think it stands for a rude compound word that is very effective in a sharp putdown.

Last month I devoted three and a half days to learn lots of basic medical stuff. Now I have a fancy tag I can wear that tells people that I'm a Medical First Responder. Oh, and I can defibrillate people. As long as the little computer voice tells me I can. CLEAR!!

Anyway, just last night, I demonstrated exactly how competent I am.

My wife and I were having dinner with our friends Kim, Ken, Barb, and Lockie. Yes, that's his real name. Don't ask.

Anyway, we were having a very nice dinner which was following a holiday drink of some kind which contained a LOT of alcohol. And we were having wine with the dinner as well. I'm just setting the stage to explain that what I said really wasn't that bad, in the context of the amount of alcohol I consumed in a short period of time.

Ken, who's sitting next to me, does a little cough or sputter. Something like that.

So me, I figure I should spout off on some of my vast medical knowledge. With my tongue in cheek, I prepared to ask him if he is ok, or does he need something like the Heimlich maneuver. Oh, wait, they call them something else too... abdominal thrusts.

So I say to him,

"I'm an MFR. Do you need a pelvic thrust?"

....

They all laugh.

REALLY hard.

Takes me a second to clue in. Oh crap. ABDOMINAL thrust. Not PELVIC thrust.

Which really is something altogether different.

So basically, I offered to perform a sexual act on my male friend.

They don't actually stop laughing yet. See, three of them are nurses. So this is the funniest thing they've ever heard I guess. Don't ask me.

So how do you recover from propositioning one of your friends? Not very easily. I try to say that I had actually planned to ask his WIFE that, after she had a few more drinks. They don't buy it.

So you can imagine how the evening progressed after that.

I'm just so smooth.

But hey, if you're ever choking, you know where to come for a pelvic thrust.

2 Comments:

At 10:43 AM, Blogger Mama Mia said...

Ah yes. My husband. An MFR for sure.

 
At 7:15 AM, Blogger caramaena said...

rofl

 

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