Sunday, October 30, 2005

My Kingdom for a Mini-me

I'm feeling a little funky today, as I'm in "Dr. Evil in-between mode."

I reprised my Dr. Evil persona last night for a Halloween party, and I'll be re-reprising him tomorrow at the kids' school and again that evening for Halloween night.

Getting into Dr. Evil mode requires a bit of effort on my part. I already have the bald head, so that's not a problem. I shave off my beard. That always feels strange. I've had a beard or goatee, with the exception of a couple of halloweens, for the last twenty years. I also remove my glasses and remove my earring. I darken my eyebrows with mascara. I let my kids participate in all this, to prevent the "who's-this-weirdo-and-where's-Dad-gone" syndrome.

Once my head is prepared, I use 'creepy skin' to make the large scar that runs down one side of my face. The scar always interests people. Putting on the suit completes the effect.

Once this is all done, it's hard NOT to act like Dr. Evil.

I don't have a Mini-me, though. I used to have a Mr. Bigglesworth, but not any more. Really though, Mini-me would be the icing on the cake. I've asked many of my children to consider shaving their heads to play Mini-me, but they always decline. "Your hair will grow back," I say. Still they say no. But that would be SO cool.

I have formulated a plan for next year that my wife or 16-year-old daughter could fulfill. I will need a sort of military outfit for them, with a bit of a german motif maybe. Then they pull their hair back severely, and put harsh makeup on. Ta-da. We now have a 'Frau.' Wherever we go, I could say things like, "Frau, load the missiles", to which she would throw back her head and scream in a german accent, "LOAD ZE MISSILES!!!!". I would say, "Fire one", and she would scream, "FIRE ONE!!!!". I think we will definitely have to do this.

But I'm not giving up hope for a Mini-me someday. And I would feed him chocolate. Mini-me goes MENTAL for chocolate.


At 7:48 PM, Blogger I am a Milliner's Dream, a woman of many "hats"... said...

I read this to manboy#1--his nickname is mini-me(--long story, and it's even part of his e-mail address) and he thought this was hysterical.


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