My "Going To Prison" Newspaper Shot

Yeah, ok, it's been a long time. Clearly this job just doesn't pay enough.

However, I was stirred out of my lethargy to share with you a flash of the future.

As you know, usually I am amazingly photogenic. HOWEVER, today was the exception that proves the rule.

I ventured to my local Wal-Mart to have a new passport photo taken. My dear wife's dear sister is going to be married in a tropical location. Yay! (And by "Yay!", I mean, "WOO HOO MY WIFE AND I ARE GOING ON A MINI VACATION IN DECEMBER")

But I digress. Ah, yes, passport photo.

I knew there'd be a problem when she said, "Take off your glasses."

Take off my glasses? I didn't have to do that for the LAST passport photo! So immediately I'm off kilter. See, I like to downplay the resemblance to Homer Simpson.

She takes the photo. I don't smile. I TRY to look pleasant. It doesn't work. I look more like I'm trying to put a good face on a rectal exam.

You know how when somebody gets arrested they always manage to find a photo of the person that puts them in the worst possible light? Well, I think we've found a winner.

THIS is the photo they will use if I ever get arrested:



I can see the headlines now:

"LOCAL PERVERT COLLARED IN AIRPORT MEN'S ROOM"

or

"RETIREMENT HOME FLASHER FINALLY NABBED"

or something like that.

....

I just home I make it to Saint Lucia in December before it happens.