Parent-Teenager Negative Permission Interaction Template; aka "The Quickest Way to NO"

Parents! Frustrated by long, rambling arguments with teens who are seeking permission which you're not prepared to give? Is it taking you longer and longer to get to "NO"???

Worry no longer! Print multiple copies of the following template. Keep a copy for yourself, and give a copy to every teenager (or teenager in training) in your household! Once everyone follows the template, you will find your self getting to "NO" faster and faster every time!

OK, here we go. Just jump right in!

Teen: Unrelated butter-up comment

Parent: Suspicious response

Teen: Request for permission for social engagement with details as vague as possible

Parent: Deferment of permission pending full disclosure of details

Teen: Either (a) befuddled attempt to provide non-details masquerading as details, or (b) provision of details with avoidance of specifics which fall outside of established family rules of social engagement

Parent: Deferment of permission pending resolution of concerns related to possible infringement of established family rules of social engagement

Teen: Concerns over suitability of established family rules of social engagement, vis-a-vis the clearly increased level of maturity of the parties involved

Parent: Amused response at doomed attempt to invoke rules amendment during an ongoing social engagement permission request meeting

Teen: Frustrated comment only loosely related to the discussion at hand

Parent: Caution regarding status of discussion being put in jeopardy

Teen: Barely audible response (typically under breath with back turned, intended for personal satisfaction only)

Parent: Request for more audible repetition of previous comment

Teen: Disavowal of said comment having ever been uttered

Parent: Expression of reluctance to continue the social engagement permission response meeting

Teen: Last feeble attempt to secure permission

Parent: Permission denied.

Teen: stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp SLAM!!!!


Congratulations! You've arrived at "NO"!!

p.s. My future segment entitled "Getting to YES" requires more work before it's ready for release. My teenagers and I are currently working towards an efficient and successful template. Wish us luck!