Yeah, ok, it's been a long time. Clearly this job just doesn't pay enough.
However, I was stirred out of my lethargy to share with you a flash of the future.
As you know, usually I am amazingly photogenic. HOWEVER, today was the exception that proves the rule.
I ventured to my local Wal-Mart to have a new passport photo taken. My dear wife's dear sister is going to be married in a tropical location. Yay! (And by "Yay!", I mean, "WOO HOO MY WIFE AND I ARE GOING ON A MINI VACATION IN DECEMBER")
But I digress. Ah, yes, passport photo.
I knew there'd be a problem when she said, "Take off your glasses."
Take off my glasses? I didn't have to do that for the LAST passport photo! So immediately I'm off kilter. See, I like to downplay the resemblance to Homer Simpson.
She takes the photo. I don't smile. I TRY to look pleasant. It doesn't work. I look more like I'm trying to put a good face on a rectal exam.
You know how when somebody gets arrested they always manage to find a photo of the person that puts them in the worst possible light? Well, I think we've found a winner.
THIS is the photo they will use if I ever get arrested:
I can see the headlines now:
"LOCAL PERVERT COLLARED IN AIRPORT MEN'S ROOM"
"RETIREMENT HOME FLASHER FINALLY NABBED"
or something like that.
I just home I make it to Saint Lucia in December before it happens.