Ahoy! PIRATE ALERT!!

Avast, me hearties!

Aaarrgh, me can't be believin' that I been forgettin' to be telling' yar this...

If ye be goin' ter Pirates O' the Caribbean soon, aharr, BE SURE TER BE STAYIN' TO THE BITTER END MATEY, for there be another scene followin' the credits that yer don't want ter be missin', aarrrgh.

If ye've seen the show already and DIN'T stay ter the end, ye landlubber, then ye should be draggin yer scurvy butts back to the theatres to see the REST of the blessed picture!!

Oooh, arrghh, and a-harr!!!

Matey.

Month of May Movie Madness... Finally Finished

Finally.

It's finished.

The month I had been waiting for, for so long. The month of Spider-Man 3, Shrek 3, and Pirates of the Caribbean 3.

So how did they shape up?

Not exactly as expected.

Here's the wrapup.

Spider-Man 3:



Loved it. Actually saw it three times. Long story. Doesn't matter. Loved it.

Shrek the Third:

It was ok. No more than that. Pretty much played out. Fine for kids, with some funny spots, but doesn't compare with either of the first two.

Pirates of the Caribbean - At World's End:



This is the one that surprised me. It was really good. Better than the last one, which I enjoyed very much. And really, the best of the three movies this month. Even with my obvious bias towards Spider-Man. I'll be seeing it again (particularly since my wife didn't get to see it yet, and I'm pretty sure she wants to). Which will be ok with me.

Now, all that remains for my summer long movie requirements is Harry Potter. In IMAX of course.


p.s. Don't ask me to figure out how much money it cost me for me and all my kids to see these movies. I'm pretty sure it would ruin my good mood.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow... um, Today.

Today was cool. My fifteen year old, who has had hair so long that it has caused ongoing consternation for both his mother and grandmother, buzzed it all off after three years.

And not only *that*, but he did it in a very cool manner. He raised almost four hundred dollars fundraising for an event called 'Hair for Heroes' which supports families of kids with cancer. As well, his hair was kept to sent to 'Locks of Love' which makes wigs for young cancer sufferers.

Here are some pictures:



Before.



Braiding.



Buzzing.



Bye bye!



Sorry, no jokes in this post. Today, I'm just proud of my kid.

BLAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

OK, I admit my wife's a nurse. So technically, I might have slightly stronger hygiene habits than average. But only by a little bit. I'm not uber-hygienic by any stretch of the imagination.

But today, on my way out of town, I had occasion to stop by a public place. The airport. And, as oft happens, the call of nature took me into the washroom there.

Where I saw it again.

The thing that makes me want to go "BLAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

Let me ask a simple question. I know how busy people are. Rush rush rush, hurry hurry hurry, late late late. But here's the question:

"IS IT REALLY THAT HARD TO WASH YOUR FREAKING HANDS WHEN YOU USE THE WASHROOM?????"

I swear, when I see guys hit the urinal then head straight out the door, it makes me want to run after them and shout: "Everyone! Look out for that guy! He didn't wash his hands! Stay away! And for God's sake, DON'T SHAKE HANDS WITH HIM UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!!"

It makes me worry about all the people I encounter who might have done the same thing... only I don't know about it!!! I can see how paranoid people become paranoid. The next time I see someone who greets me by extending his hand to shake, will I say, "Hold on there, mister! When's the last time you handled your johnson?? Uh huh? And did you wash?"

I think maybe I might.

Gack.

Take a Dip in the "Money Pool"

Sometimes kids come up with words or phrases that you just don't get.

This happened to me on the weekend. We were at the mall, buying even *more* Spider-man toys with the cash the 6-year-old got at his birthday party. He says, "I want to go to the MONEY POOL!!"

The money pool?

The MONEY pool?

The money POOL?

No matter how I spun it around in my head, it wouldn't come to me.

Until it did.

You know where he wanted to go? To the fountain in the centre court area of this mall.

The one that people throw pennies into.

(We didn't actually have any pennies, so we dug a couple out of the money pool just to throw them back in.)

So now you know where to go if a kid wants to hit the money pool.

Misplaced Mother's Day Wishes...

Happy Mother's Day to:

(1) My very own mother, who still treats me like her little boy;

(2) My wonderful wife, who masterfully produced five amazing kids with very little input from me;

(3) My wife's mother, without whom I wouldn't have had either my wonderful wife or my wonderful kids;

and finally,

(4) My former manager from ten years ago. Without him, I wouldn't have dove into the career change that I....

Oh. Right.

Um... yeah, sorry. I'm afraid that last one doesn't quite apply today. Though I hope you'll forgive my mistake, as you can probably see the similarities.

I'll just have to save that last one for ....


Motherf***er's Day.

Happy Spidey Day!

Happy Spidey Day to all of you.

What do you mean, "What do you mean, 'happy Spidey day'?"?

Isn't it Spidey day?

Holy crap, you wouldn't have known it from this house yesterday after my little guy's birthday party...

Take a look at this:



Pretty good haul, if I do say so myself. I'm actually hoping to score one of those Spider-Man temporary tattoos if I play my cards right. Oh, and for full disclosure, I forgot to include the Spider-Man t-shirt he got as well.

Good thing his birthday party wasn't a couple of weeks later, or maybe we'd have mixed some Shrek stuff in with the Spidey stuff and totally thrown off the vibe.

Or if the party was even *later*, there might have been lots of Pirates of the Caribbean stuff... which actually wouldn't have been too bad come to think of it... especially since Dad was clearly missing the Spidey groove, by ordering a Pirates cake for the party:



But I must say, it tasted pretty good anyway.

Another Helpful Kitchen Tip

To put a thin waxy protective coating on every dish you own, simply throw a few birthday candles into your next dishwasher load.

Works like a charm!



(...Unless of course you don't WANT a coating of wax on all your dishes, in which case it's a huge pain in the a$$)